father's day

Happy Father's Day to all the fathers that may catch this.

I'm not a big fan of Father's day anymore... same with Christmas.

It's all his fault really; you see he died five years ago and a part of me still hasn't forgiven him for that. I still miss him...somedays more than others. He's stopped being foremost in my mind; he was for about the first two years. Then slowly he shifted and settled into a place where I could call his voice to mind or see him.

I remember him mostly as an ill man; he was sick towards the end due to several medical conditions but he wasn't that old. Yet I suppose death doesn't come with an expiry date.

I wish we'd talked more.

I wish I'd listened more.

I wish I'd gotten to know him for the man that he was rather than seeing him as the over-protective, hovering father that he was.

I wish he was here now.