addiction

Like most people I've my little addictions...running, Kernels popcorn, shopping...

Then I watched Requiem for a Dream. Now I have a whole new understanding and insight into addictions.

The movie is brilliant - the dialogue, visual treatment, the music, characters - all of it...simply brilliant. But after watching it I'm sitting here in somewhat of a state. I'm going to guess that this is what stoned might feel like.

Drugs are a funny thing...they've never held any appeal for me at all, probably because I don't like being out of control. I can't even begin to imagine what it's like to crave something so badly that you don't care about anything else - I know what it's like to want something and what it's like to really want something, but to crave it to the exclusion of all else, even if that means to the detriment of one's own self - that I don't know and I'm grateful to not know.

And I guess part of the reason I'm sitting in such a state is because I have friends who are in recovery from their various addictions and up til now, I don't think I got it...what it really means to be addicted. But now I do. And so I state again, I'm grateful to not know what it's like to have an addiction.

The movie is definitely worth seeing if you haven't already (it's old ... 2000) but be prepared to be extremely messed up after watching it.